Don’t forget I know you.

     So for the longest time I haven’t written because I’ve been dealing with life. You know insecurities, sin, chores, the craziness of life, and getting pushed farther from God that I started to feel  separation from him.

      If you’ve been a Christian for awhile you might understand what I mean. I got saved when I was a young teen in a pretty awesome way. Even though I know the power of God, it doesn’t always make me God-fearing unfortunately, but recently that changed.

      You see some people go through their Christian walk, never experiencing the supernatural; and feeling like God doesn’t love them. If your like me you want God to come down like thunder, or create a burning bush, speak in an audible voice, speak through someone, send an angel or something. You see, God showing me the proof of his love wasn’t enough for me to become God-fearing-noooo, not just a few times, God has spoken through people, through songs at the right time, and other very cool and miraculous ways in my life.Even when he gives me the burning bush, I doubt. Sometimes I feel like doubting Thomas and feel shamed for that too…

      Recently in the last few months I hadn’t been talking to God, I hadn’t been praying, a combination of a fear of talking to God because, I did’t want to be convicted again and also because life had just gotten super busy. Literally every second I have a ton of work- I bet you can relate…. your probably making a mental to do-list like me right now. 

      Anyways I got to where I couldn’t pray for myself, and of course that really stops me from writing this blog. While life was happening, I could feel myself being separated from God and long story short I fell into sin. I went around moping about my sin, and yet the following day I would continue and not reconcile with God ,and I could feel his conviction in my soul telling me to pray, to turn back to him, but something in me just would not let myself reconcile with God.

       Last month I finally just broke down and started praying it was hard at first, but I prayed and asked God for forgiveness, although the next day things in my life would not improve and I would succumb to my flesh again. I just wanted to feel God’s forgiveness- an audible voice telling me he forgave me, and I asked him for a sign.

       As some of you may know I am waiting till marriage and I wear a purity ring- One night at church I was asked to be prayed for, and God spoke through my preacher… “he’s putting the ring back on your finger.” was apart of the prayer my preacher was praying, declaring God was doing this…. Immediately my heart dropped, I knew my preacher didn’t know I wore the ring, and I had been feeling so ashamed… at that moment I knew God was making me whole, pure, and best of all forgiving me. After that night I realized that I was really under spiritual attack, and condemnation from the enemy- the little voice that always makes me doubt, the voice that tells me I’m ugly and no one will love me, the voice that says I’m a hypocrite and I shouldn’t bother praying- that lying voice of the enemy. Once I identified that I also realized I was keeping myself from being forgiven, God had forgiven me, I just hadn’t forgiven myself. I had already confessed and repented. 

Best of all, God knew my heart. He knows I wear a ring , and he wants to put that ring on my finger, He wants to make me pure again to have a relationship with me again. He hasn’t forgotten me at all, have you forgotten him like I did? Don’t forget him he loves you.

God’s reconciliation; is a gift.

Image

In a Christian aspect, God sees people as either dead or alive; in the spiritual sense that is…not good or bad. Like the Bible says- Hey man, face it, all of us have sinned and fallen short. Thankfully, God offered a peace token to the human race for all of our sin…because sin is unholy it separated God from His children. Because He loves us, He decided to try to find a loophole; a sacrifice to bring us back to Him. He decided to forgive our sins, with this exception: That we choose to believe He exists and love Him, and be set in holy ways. This is because He did not send His son to die for no reason. He sent His son to die, because He wanted a relationship. Yet He doesn’t force us to love Him.  He offered a gift of reconciliation for our sin… and whether or not we are worthy of it or not, it is a free gift.

When someone gives you a gift, do you refuse to take it?

Say a friend or loved one, hurt you deeply. Despite your hurt, you offer them a gift to mend the broken relationship. What if they refused the gift?

Now since I believe in Jesus and that He is Lord, my creator looks at me and sees His gift, and that I have accepted it. (a.k.a. the blood of Jesus).

In the beginning, it was humanity that sinned against God, and at first we had to earn reconciliation with God. By obeying commandments that were hard to always obey, making sacrifices, and doing good deeds that were pleasing to God. Then the Savior, came to reconcile with us. He fulfilled all the prophecies of the Messiah and died on a cross because, my friends, God does love you… how do I know?  Who would you die for?  Would you try to mend a relationship with a race that hated you?

It is a packaged beautiful gift God has given to us. It’s our decision whether or not to accept that gift. That is where free-will comes in…but that is another long topic for another day.

It’s a free-will to love Him back, because if we decide to love Him back you see… He already loves us. Nothing could make God love you any more or less. He has already gotten down on one knee and proposed; it’s just up to us to accept and say, “YES”!

I compare it to an engagement, because being a child of God, and trusting is a relationship! Why did God create mankind?  For relationship!  Why pray?  To talk to God, why else?

It’s not a religious pretend ritual that so many of us participate in. It’s an eternity long relationship.  For some of you, you may be thinking, boy, that’s a lot of commitment!  haha

Jesus has long ago proposed to me, and won my heart. I know I am unfaithful, but the great thing is despite that, He has decided to show me grace, no matter what I could ever do, He loves me. That is why I said, “Yes!”

2 Corinthians 4:18

“We look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Me Society

ImageIt’s all about me me me! How is it that in 2013, our society has gotten to turn the meaning of equality into a reasoning to be entitled? In America, we are entitled to our right, the freedoms that women and men have fought for. The right of having free speech and being religious without government interference.

In 2013, our government, here in the states, is trying to turn the word ‘equality’ into a word that goes against the grain of what our Founding Fathers intended it to mean. The equality of all religions should be allowed, but if there is a monument of a cross, it should be taken down. Gay marriage is being approved, but people in the military lose their right to speak of their faith. No one can offend Muslims, but it’s perfectly fine to aid terrorist groups to kill Christians. Why do we allow the government to get away with it? I’ll tell you why, because we have many people who feel entitled. People who want more welfare, more handouts, more everything. Though to gain that we give our government too much control. The idea of socialism doesn’t work too well for our democratic society.

I go into the mall to try to find a new top, but I find that nearly all the tops are completely see through. So I have to buy a camisole to go underneath, but it still shows waaay too much. So I also buy a cardigan to cover my shoulders. The less I have the less important I feel. I know this is terrible, but believe me I can honestly say I’m not the worst! Haha. The more money you have, the more you spend. Racked up credit card debt, with a smart phone and a Starbucks in your hand. Is it worth it?

I’ve talked to many atheists and agnostics. Many of them don’t believe in God but only in themselves. I can personally say from experience that my own strength is not enough. I am not perfect, I screw up nearly everything! It is by the grace of God that I have what I have, and I know that. I ask and if it’s God will, I receive. If God doesn’t always give me what I want, then that’s just the way it is. My trip to Guatemala this year showed me how I should be grateful for everything. When I say EVERYTHING, I mean everything. I am happy about all the hard things I have gone through. Above all, I am thankful I have a God who makes me perfect through Him; despite my constant imperfection. I’ll be honest, the reason I haven’t wrote a post in awhile is because I don’t feel wise enough to give advice to others! I pray that although I am a sinner just like any one else, and through my imperfection- that my God can touch many lives!

What’s wrong with a ‘Me’ society? Nice cars, success, and money cannot make you happy. You can try to make it through life on your own constantly trying to do it on your own. I speak for myself when I say, without God, life has no purpose. Living for yourself has absolutely no purpose whatsoever. The things that we do for others and how we sow seeds in this lifetime is what counts, and above all, a relationship with God. Everything passes away, but neither life nor death can separate you from the Love of God; which we have in Christ Jesus our savior and friend. He bore the sins of many and made an intercession for transgressors. Whoever believes in Him, whoever loves Him, shall have eternal life.

It’s better to serve others, than to serve yourself. We all reap what we sow. A life serving and loving God is a billion times better than to love and serve yourself!

Continue reading